The 4H New Year’s Celebration does not consist of handlist, hogmanay, hominy, and hogwash.

The University of Mississippi does not nominate female students for participation in the Señorita Olé pageant.

There are not eight simple rules for radiocarbon dating anyone’s teenage daughter.

During April in Paris, Barbara Trzetrzelewska never promoted herself as Countess Basia.

Jason D. Williams is the only artist to ever perform on the sun.

Paolo Anafesto did not drive the first Dodge in Venice.

White Christmases matter.

Not everyone whose destination is to Súr, Hungary, goes to there with szerelem.

Neither Scrooge or the Grinch are nicknamed the Christmas creep.

White elephant gifts matter, as long as the item is not made of tusk.

Zwarte Piet matters, to some, in the Netherlands.

Musician Doug Yule is not a Yule Lad of Icelandic folklore.

While the lessons of the traditional ‘Nine Lessons and Carols’ are well-known, the nine Carols do not include Alt, Bayer-Sager, Channing, Higgins Clark, Kane, King, Lombard, O'Connor, or Spinney.

Few lucky men who make the grade are able to celebrate their passing fifty years later.

The Rolls-Royce Phantom is not named after the ghost of Claude Johnson.

Craig Sager never owned an amazing technicolor dreamcoat.

‘Veve Me The Sunshine’ does not propagate Loa loa filariasis.

The Target Corporation once forbade the use of all oeil-de-boeuf windows on its stores, ultimately rendering all locations one story.

It’s best to know that no chief serf served Big Shefs by Big Sur.

Witold Rybczynski never wrote a fictional account of waiting for Abel Makkonen Tesfaye.

It was rumoured that Jim Delligatti disliked the honorific title ‘Mac Daddy’.

Slender Man has not historically endorsed Nutri System.

Fore people are sometimes fine and young.

Billions never bruited about baklava in balaclava.

The Strawberry Hill House does not abut Strawberry Fields.

Dame Jordana Polly Hay was not the earliest-known royal Woman of the Chamberpot.

Snorks do not multiply using water tables.

Vicious’ was not the nickname of Glenn Rivers.

Elephant and Obelisk did not give way to Elephant and Castle, which in turn did not result in the Chang Building.

The Chicago Pile is not the wedge shape emerging from the upper edges of the city and converging at a point near the Midway Plaisance.

Texas even goes as far to celebrate Truck Month in Undecimber.

Open-air burning in Flag, Arkansas, is occasionally permissible. Legal, even.

Word of mouth is that no Roman amphitheater had the phrase ‘real beauty comes from within’ chiseled on its vomitorium.

Monday was never skilled in steering or governing.

Fiddling beavers are not native to the Portugal’s Beja District.

Danno has never e-booked ‘em, as far as anyone knows.

As God is one's witness, one should never think jive turkeys can fly.

Few tables will feature a 97-foot tall Thanksgiving Candle.

The Pepperidge Farm museum has never showcased the Sandy Skoglund photograph, ‘Revenge of the Goldfish’.

The so-called ‘B word’ of modern parlance did not originate in ancient Greece as 'beta vulgaris’.

While President Warren G. Harding may have strengthened the regulations on businesses, he never stood on the streets, tryin’ to consume some skirts for the eve.

Richard de Southchurch was at least cocksure in his theories, if not his practice.

Satureja, Montana, is easier to digest than Grass Range, Montana.

Whitney Smith was not a Brigadier General but still thought of as a flag officer.

Grace Jones’s character in ‘A View to a Kill’ was not renamed 'Walburga’ in the French re-voicing.

While it is said nothing compares to U, some orthographers would valorously cite Y.

One-time filmmaker Harold P. Warren did not begin his collection of manos stones in Fate, Texas, fifty years ago.

It's admirable the Netherlands have never, to date, produced an urban prance squad.

No one ever confused gorgonzola with mangelwurzel and bothered to write home about it.

In Latin, the name ‘victor holmberg’ is pronounced 'MCMLXXXVII’.

Truly dead Pauls include the Apostle, the Deacon, and the Exarch.

Light gets in everything through cracks, be them in monkeys, in plywood violins, or in marble arches.

There are 1,455 days until the 2020 Presidential Election.

Impress new friends standing in line at the polls by revealing a rig is a male animal with one or both testicles undescended.

Few golfers parbreak when breaking par.

Cinematographer Ron Fricke has not created films on the topics of crumpets, baklava, or samosas.

Swedish baseball players never slide in on home with shrimp sandwiches.

Between 1984 and 1991, Walter Cronkite did not tour as part of Bruce Hornsby’s backing band, the Range.

Jabez Bunting Snowball never visited Hell, Michigan, with pickles and cans of corn.

The opposite of anger multiplication is not joy division.

Early voters still must suffer through until Election Day.

Hammer Horror has nothing to do with Stanley Burrell’s pants.

Trick-or-treaters should be wary of ‘homemade Mounds bars’ from the house with the almond fetish.

Few find interest in celebrating the Soles of the Dead Shoes.

The professional act of removing fruit from basins of water is known as ‘Apple Roberting’.

The greater the pumpkin, the greater the propensity it is for one to receive rocks.

Edvard Munch never painted a scream queen.

One may gives hugs and kisses to the X-Men but not the Omen.

Spiritualist Mattu Pongal did not milk audiences in failed attempts to coin the term ‘holy cow’.

The magnificent seven was just the quorum needed to complete the dirty dozen.

A duet of just suet and fuet make for a coquet banquet.

IBM’s Watson and the associated Enterprise Storage Servers were never painted by John Singleton Copley.

Ocean sunfish in Puebla, Mexico, are seldom prepared for the culinary dish known as mola mola mole.

Category 17 is the upper-most benchmark of the Unsafer-Simpson scale.

Jean Valjean was never imprisoned near Amonate, Virginia.

If dead people generally vote Democrat then Oingo Boingo is the soundtrack of that electorate.

Never did the Sioux fish the Soo Locks for Sue Bee honeyed lox.

Geoffrey, of the House of Normandy, was not the first to count Europium.

The Battle of Hastings involved neither Camelot nor Sam Goody.

My Chemical Romance did not stem from The Chemical Wedding in 1987.

Few people remember the one-hundred-and-forty-third video played on MTV.

Visions of China can be heard by Japan’s tin drums.

By coincidence, ‘Pagliacci’ was named the Autumn 2016 'Play of the Season’ by the National Federation of High School Drama Departments.

In 1973, Badfinger trumped up one piece of ‘Ass’ with 'Apple of My Eye’.

The Luna 3 probe never eavesdropped on Pink Floyd recording sessions.

Concert-goers at Austin’s ACL Festival can keep cool by using the local fair-weather fans.

Read the fine print: the founding of the American Library Association was long overdue, as are the minutes of its first executive session.

October 5, 1582, was not the first day of the rest of Italy’s life.

The Coverdale Bible does not feature a page entitled ‘Whisper a Prayer for the Dying.’

Geoffrey of Shrewsbury was not the first person to cut off one’s nose to spite one’s face.

Agnolo Bronzino got his foot in the door of the BBC during the late 1960s.

The phrase “in hiatus inter” did not grace the first edition of ‘The News of the World’ tabloid.

Few, if any, Eastern Orthodox monks find the most stable and chaste level of the atmosphere to be the stavrosphere.

Thirty years on and it is still preferred that one wang chungs at night rather than in early morning hours or right before tea.

Today is not the nonaquicentennial of normal school students taking a field trip (or ‘invading’) Pevensey.

Eric IX’s obsessive and compulsive need to codify Swedish laws as the Code of Uppland is not the source of Stockholm syndrome.

The stylist responsible for Troxler’s hi-top fade did not follow its success with a lilac chaser.

Few went bananas for Ralston-Purina Monkey Chow.

Sheep herders will not blow the lena horn atop the Lena Pillars.

Brûlot - the frappé of Belgium - was not the drink of civilians during the German invasion and occupation of Belgium during World War I.

The offspring of a horse and oxen is not an equinox.

Gods of War outnumber Gods of Peace.

In some Portuguese translations, Ichabod Crane is followed by the Headless Mule.

No one remembers how faceless congregations constructed major metropolitan areas through rhythms of contemporary popular music.

Charles Dickens never wrote ‘Chips Avast!’ and thus Nabisco never followed suit.

Residents of Big Inning, Iowa, have been known to drift away whilst watching little league baseball games.

In Scotland, teen idols are known to bring grief.

The sequel to the musical ‘The Unsinkable Molly Brown’ - entitled the 'The Unsinkable Hugh Williams’ - was not as popular.

Thai cadastral maps are ineffective at displaying the catachresis in the rai.

The Oath of Lucius Junius Brutus was not ‘Capitoline or bust!’

The union of the flautist set and the flatulist set are those who can the break the wood’s wind.

Men of olden times, content to believe the world was not round, were not known as flatologists.

Henry Winkler is the ‘fonz et origo’ of Happy Days.

Unsteady repetition is a compulsion not mutually reinforced.

No one boldly goes into Mantrap, Minnesota, without checking all circuits.

The genesis of diegesis is not nemesis of mimesis.

The Bridge on the River Kwai is longer than the Bridge over the Elbe.

Saint Judoc’s son was the first person attributed to the epithet “rejoice”.

Uncovered exits are seldom announced publicly.

Saint Amanuensis was not the world’s first eponymous plagiarist.

Ftira and Ġbejna were the not the original mascots of Malta meal.

If a building’s architecture is not Baroque, it still does not need to be fixed.

No one has ever taken off the ritz and bothered to tell anyone about it.

Most movers and shakers know what snozzberries taste like.

Continental drift does not cause distance decay.

The locus classicus is not an endangered species.

Citizens of Panaji have decried the Basilica of Bom Jesus as being part of Pokemon Goa.

Not everyone in Columbia jumped to rename Columbium to Niobium.

The Sun once discovered life on the Moon on this day.

Esmet-Akhom has not been tagged as an ancestor of modern German-Montanans.

The Battle of the Standard was not fought between John D. Rockefeller and William Grove Skelly.

Squid pro quo is not the act of stealing from the cabinet of doctor’s calamari.

Obelism is an obscure but not obsolete obligation.

Bigmouth’s initial strike was not celebrated in song.

It’s easy to ensure that the Old Book of Tang does not document the history of instant breakfasts in the Renaissance.

No one has attempted to make an American cheese grater, again.

Rolling Stone, Minnesota, no longer rolls out each new year with a moss celebration.

It’s fiction, man, to believe a group of owls is called a conspiracy.

Dolly Madison never consummated snack cakes in a zinger zwinger.

Only one of William Penn and his Pals ever took a long journey before his departure.

Football fields in ancient Pompeii were not covered in Astro Tuff.

Crossing the Rubicon is not code for twisting the sides of the World Cube Association’s convention hall.

Gregory of Tours is not the world’s oldest travel agency.

Shawarma law does not dictate rotisseries go counter-clockwise.

Non-circulating legal tinder is not an invitation to swipe up or down.

Be wary of six-sided Cuban sandwiches.

The number of cardinals that were counting red birds resulted in a cardinal number.

Some Olympians will save a prayer that they hold back the rain to qualm mosquitoes fears in Rio.

That Abbott and Costello never had to point out that no one was on Fir Street is commendable.

News broadcasts promoting the search for an unwanted fugitive are unwarranted.

The as-of-yet-to-be-identified quickest picker-upper will result in a mutiny on the Bounty.

Texas university orientation programs featuring costumed character Kampus Karrie™ are in for a rude awakening.

The novel ‘Burger’s Daughter’ is not an account of the life of restaurateur Dave Thomas.

Items in old London were not sent to the Isle of Dogs when they became worse in quality or character.

In France the word that best described the liturgical season Lent is slow.

A minute study of the ‘Dance of the Hours’ revealed a stounding revolution.

Sad but true: Duncan Hines never sat on a Duncan Phyfe to eat Dunkin’ Donuts.

In all reality, turning down freedom rock was never truly an option.

The Otitis Media Company had its ear to the ground in producing the Cochlea Valley Music and Arts Festival.

Murmurs of the Lorelei have stumbled even the most Rhine-stoned viehzüchters.

It’s just as bad to drop two nickels.

The Stroh’s language is not spoken in Outer Mongolia.

Jiminy Cricket is not cruising toward the presidency, stupid.

Future generations will believe polar bears became extinct from consuming too much Coca-Cola.

Hereditary peer-to-peer file sharing is a barren trade where nobles duke it out for dossiers.

Phrygians never capped themselves with a feather, much less called it macaroni you dunce.

First drafts of Giovanni Boccaccio’s ‘The Decameron’ did not 'go up to eleven’.

At least a green philatelist knows to not collect green stamps.

No one ever bothered dialing the 70th star.

Roger Hargreaves’s doodles did not include the Blemmyes.

The ‘dead beet club’ is not the latest cold sandwich offering at your local deli.

Among the seven rhymes of sea are ghee, flea, and key.

Yes, few people can stand a lie detector.

The opposite of onspring is not awful.

Garnie Choucroute famously called the nearly extinct juliper cone, ‘un mois de retard.’

One can be kind and yet fore-wind as well.

Those rebellious souls are scarcely up in legs about anything.

Beware bidents in the bidet.

If one hangs around long enough, he or she will learn what a Hand of Glory is.

Hiccdowning is a mostly quiet affair, remarkably, for those affected.

People seldom keep items of interest above advisement, or so you’re told.

No mongoose infected by flaviviridae has been referred to as Zikka Tikka Tavi.

Those who are escorted through fjords often live to tell about it.

Just know that few indentured servants ever redeemed their Polident coupons.

Never take an unnatural fall into a natural spring.

Archibald Willard was not visited by the Spirit of Electricity Past, the Spirit of Telegraphy Present, or the Spirit of Mail-Yet-To-Arrive.

There’s a lot to read between the lines of fortitude and patience.

The original ‘original recipe’ of Harland Sanders was not known as the nine herbs charm.

Shouting in sign language does not require one use his or her ‘outside’ hands.

The youngest of the Futharks was not known as Ríta Skrifa.

Saint Vitus’s Dance is not one of the nine identified safety dances.

Dion Meinü was not the first female explorer of the Uncanny Valley.

There but for the face of God goes Grace, William Gilbert.

Avoid the cold fuzzies.

Few cities in the contemporary age wear slouch hats.

The ‘Digesta Hungarorum’ is not the oldest tome detailing the preparation of food in Esztergom.

Attichitcuk can drive everyone crazy, too, by not admitting to being lost.

Designated drivers were scarce the night the 21st Amendment was ratified.

Ajtony was one of the few people to be tongue-tied after his death.

The Olympic Mishka was not the first cozy bear or fancy bear.

Sasquatch Juan has man-made borders.

Everyone ogles at Eglingham Hall.

The Hammer Projection was not a map displaying the affects of the reverend’s pressure.

Timexes work just as well without saliva.

Silver alerts from Hecla Mining Company scarcely are about its abducted board of directors.

Nang Tani was not the lead actress in the foreign film, ‘Yes! We Have Noh Bananas’.

Fingers crossed are more welcome than crosses fingered.

The Emperor of Ice-Cream was not the father of the Dairy Queen.

Spittle is discrete in the spital in the street.

When viewed from above, ‘mortality’ is a small word.

The Ball’s Pyramid is not the celebrated in Cairo at the Pyramid's Ball.

Electronically it is possible to sync one’s battleship.

Pontiac’s Rebellion was not in retaliation to the 2008 US Government bailout.

Those who push all the stops back in are seldom celebrated.

Escapology is never performed with the sleigh of Hand County, South Dakota.

The actions of ‘shaking bacon’ and 'shook book’ are not comparable.

Lights in Marfa do not cause Marfan Syndrome.

Bohemia’s letter of majesty was not Ž.

Crimean tartar sauce in the Crimean Tatar language is simply ‘sos’.

Inhabitants of Newsteadia are known to now reside in Mauritius and Ghana, among other places.

It is unclear if there are those that roll with the judies.

Few are known to save things for a rainy day woman.

Scale insects do not feed on a market-based salary structure.

The verdict is that vermicelli is not a victim of verticillium.

Oak Ridge, Tennessee, is not the home of the Manhattan cocktail.

Buckley’s Community Chest is not a special card in down-under Monopoly games.

Opossums in Vero Beach, Florida, do not proclaim ‘vero possumus.’

Never lick the chaaterboxes.

Electrified free trades haul no Judases.

Verb syrup is not made in Vermont from reduced verb. sap.

It’s not expounded upon much, but they fly swat at Çiron, too.

Just be glad cats don’t get other parts of your body - your spleen for example.

BRONCHOspasms in Norman, Oklahoma, occur just often enough to be hip.

Impress a friend by asking what time it isn’t.

Pssst! Just between us, Austin’s ‘Don’t Rush Day’ does allow for moving pictures.

Dr. Galazkiewicz has yet to perform musical surgery on 'Yes I Am’, India’s reality television show.

Béla Grünwald did not brag that the reports of ’[his] death are not greatly exaggerated.‘

Sleestaks do not exist on sea stacks.

Madam Butterfly has not been performed annually in Stockholm’s Haga Park.

Dull men don’t dine on dolmas while dozing on dolmen.

Some wickets produced in the Nineteenth Century proclaimed the phrase, ‘There but for W.G. Grace goes God’.

When Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man kissed, the event did not last ninety seconds.

Cicero’s oratorical sequel to 'Pro Milone' was not an ode to provolone.

Tea parties held near regions of water are not known for including marsh hares.

May Day is not a day to celebrate the written abbreviations of the months of the year.

The rain in Salerno spares no inferno.

Lily pons are not grown with assistance from solar pons.

Daniel Herrera does not have big ears, so does not say the proverb.

The expression ‘hamlet in a barrel’ does not refer to small communities that have been exaggerated out of proportion.

The purple reign on the spectral color chart is followed by computer blue, at at least 450 nanometers.

Whilst underground Phil Sayer was not aware of the Path Men Dig.

Fancy breads are neither in the heart or head but often the refrigerator because of preservatives.

'Pete Y(orn)/Pete Z(orn)' can be reduced to 'Y/Z' - and now just Y.

U may think it crazy but forty years of music can reach around the world in a day.

Samuel Houston never had an abnormal institute as far as you know.

Avoid elevator operators beginning rides with the question, ‘how high?’

In addition to Bettys and Taylors, Harrogate is also home to Jimmys and Jennys but no Clints or Barrys.

Andrew Jackson lost his mind - and his head - aboard the USS Constitution.

Sun’s out, guns out is fine - just keep eyes up when moon’s out.

In Germany, Martin Scorsese’s ‘The Last Walz’ did not last for three years and one day.

One never whacks a mole in Wyacondah.

Be sharp now! 'The Coal Miner Song’ was not written by a miner in a flat.

Kentucky-based Benedictine monasteries are not known for smelling of cucumbers and cream cheese.

And to think that Chevrolets and Aston Martins were seen on Klickitat Street.

Misotheism does not involve soup, thus according to the Kojiki.

Hula Kahiko performed as entertainment for visiting chiefs and his or her entourage were known not to cause great hula hoopla.

Few mathematicians will snub icosidodecahedrons in public, fearing polytrauma.

Just because its name is leukotriene does not mean it lives on the second floor.

Self-billed ‘scratch kitchens’ should seldom feature pruitus on their menu.

Norio Ohga never joyfully spun right round like a compact disc, baby, right round.

Purple rain has never fallen on little pink houses.

Those that have driven a Chevy to the nuckelavee will find said creature far from dry.

Malory Towers and Fawlty Towers were not owned by the same hotelier.

Some imaginations are but 99 44⁄100% pure.

Be weary of any university pageant with contestants named Miss Information Resources or Miss Print Shop.

Usually the last thing ones sees on a Chelsea evening is either the moon or that tents are still present.

No one dares clean the hectares of Troy with Ajax.

Beware the man with cane and woman with umbrella in Wichita, you line men.

Bell, Illinois, rang through Illinois Bell, possibly prompting ill noise.

Both audiophiles and phytophiles may have green thumbs, but it’s the audiophiles with a sound reason for getting inked.

French angels in Oger, Marne, never demand “rester dehors”.

It’s hogwash to believe all ganache has panache.

Sometimes there is just no drift to get.

To the best of your knowledge, no one has ever looked up anything in a funky winkerbean.

African river martins never flock around Lewis rats.

When one gets caught between the moon and New York City then one should exhale. Ebullisms be damned.

Stamping the first robin of Spring is permissible. Franking the first robin of Spring is a privilege only for certain government officials.

Appropriate times for Clark Kent to clean his eye glasses were never clearly defined.

Joseph Talon’s 1809 treatise is commonly misinterpreted as ‘De tubers non curat lex’.

All signs indicate, in some singing circles, daddy sang ace of bass.

That money habit of vanna–volga pricing applied mainly to Nina Vanna’s performances in the Volga economic region.

Tess of the Uber is not that transportation company’s patroness or mascot.

They call it ‘March Madness’ yet Miskatonic University has never sent its basketball team to the tournament.

Few, if any, citizens of Brackettville, Texas, are credited with the New Age beliefs and practices that make up Bracketology.

It is unknown if Ray Tomlinson turned on the automatic out-of-office message for his email account one last time.

In November 2013, two chess players in Washington, D.C. began playing a game without a board.

It was never confirmed whether Jean Chalgrin refrained from using gypsum plaster or not.

No one has ever successfully thrown evening shade.

Edmund Fitzgerald, Arthur Lee, and Andrea Doria never collided with each other in their professional capacities.

The Long Now Foundation chapter of Short, Oklahoma, does not meet near Lake Eufaula.

Saint Blandina does have a feast day but, no, she is not the patroness of the Androphagi people, either.

Man proposes, conflict opposes, nature imposes, God Disposes.

Those dentists that are giants in their field may know about the Piknmera.

Sir John “the Wheel” Barrow does not have a salt cellar named in his honor.

1980s sitcom mainstay ALF did not found the city of Tompkinsville, Florida.

Týr’s super child is not always full of grace.

Today is a day known for shifting stones in Argentina to spill, plunge, tumble, topple, plummet, and descend - yet strangely enough not leap.

Hollywood’s smallest night is celebrated mostly by a single party hosted by Ailean Smythey.

Kimberley Rew’s row regarding roux rubbed Réaux raw.

Mazel toffee obeys Kashrut laws on the molasses.

There scarcely is a division of joy, as written by Nikolai Gogol.

Catherine II’s 1781 charter was because she handled the citizens of Romny, Ukraine, with kid gloves, or mitts.

‘Top Knot’ is neither a chain of New England-based seafood restaurants or an award for most sells/sails at Old Navy.

In terms of proportions, four kill two mockingbirds can be reduced as two kill a mockingbird.

The character length of a notice that is less than 150 centimeters would be considered ‘short’ by purists.

Citizens of Athens generally frown at inheritances being read aloud at the Tower of the Winds.

Baristas in Australia voted to discontinue wearing fair-trade wigs.

Paul’s Third Epistle to the Corinthians was not to inform the church about the Doric and Ionic orders.

An epithet for George Dillon would be ‘resourceful Déjàvu.

There is not a ‘No Outlet’ sign at the eastern terminus of Brixton’s Electric Avenue.

When told to ‘have a good one’, it is long known that citizens of Lowndes County have sought clarification by asking, 'a good one what?’

While there once was a king, there has never been either a queen regnant or queen consort of wishful thinking.

Absinthe in absentia has no affect on the heart, naturally.

Martha Graham was never successful in choreographing “Salem’s Lot’.

Mush-rheumatism is the condition of intermittent pain affecting the joints of both dryland fish and hickory chickens.

Suckling Twicken ham is best upon a wedding, crib notes read.

It is regularly assumed that James H. Hilton had no paranormal or supernatural powers of his own.

Sun Wukong is so powerful, he’s even smelled no evil.

City maps made of stainless steel exist but aren’t as rustic as they are made out to be.

The favorite ‘The Return of the King’ cosplay of the fifth Roosh is not Shelob.

Crawling into the woodwork takes patience and skill.

-wards bestowed by the Ballou Institute of Elocution & Enunciation were coveted during the 1950s.

Englishmen in New York mostly prefer crème brûlée over godléy brûlée.

If the sky features smog then the number of logs a groundhog could slog - if a groundhog could slog logs in the smog - clogs just how early Spring comes to Prague.

One is never cock-eyed attending cauci, Hawkeye.

The tri-coloured barber pole is not known as Lhermitte’s sign in France.

History shows Sextus Empiricus may have been against the mathematicians when the revolution came.

Quantum mechanics does not prove it impossible to subtract nauseam.

More people are keeping their eyes peeled for art by Kevin Abosch than ever before.

It is unclear if Florence Stanley ever tired of hearing the phrase, ‘sleeps with the fishes’.

Lamia cannot undergo lamina surgery to unperplex pain from its neighbour bliss.

The son of Native American Emperor Brim, Seepeycoffee, did not brew the first cup of his eponymous beverage in Coweta, Oklahoma.

in his youth, Charles Lasègue got a leg-up in the fledgling lumber industry near his native Paris.

Grocery stores in Lycoming County are not ticketed for their stray shopping carts resting beside fire hydrants.

Tears of the Meniscus may cause tears in Manassas.

Cracker and Bread are not Half Man, Half Biscuit.

Loitering in the Copper State does not always yield peaceful, easy feelings - but it’s nice when it does.

Some bean counters in Russia are accountants for the lucrative stacking dahl market.

The melissa computer virus was not formed in an electronic apirary.

According to the US Treasury Department, title insurance companies may be required to discover the identity of the man who bought the world.

It’s no game going up a hill backwards, but it’s something fashionable for teenage wild life.

Denim-clad djinn are not known to lie on their backs in lamps or other such vessels.

Neither Curiosity nor Opportunity have spotted any huntsman spiders - yet.

Black stars look very different when one views them from sitting in a tin can.

Legends surrounding Sebastian of Portugal indicate it was from his reign that power naps first became vogue.

Fronds of Barnsley ferns are figured to last infinitely.

Gnostic gendarmerie greatly gerrymander giardiniera.

Catholic monarch butterflies do not form from Holy Mountains lavra.

People are at their most cheeky when coming off the effects of a buccalnalia.

Because of the Coriolis effect, a base tone does not denote a bad age in the Southern Hemisphere.

The New Rochelle and Huguenot Historical Association is one of the oldest American historical associations specializing in Paine management.

Charles the Bold won the Battle of Sluggo but was defeated at the Battle of Nancy.

François Boullier proclaimed the “grater society” with the advent of his new-found kitchen utensil.

Leopoldo Fregoli did not have a twin sibling named Neil.

The Emperor of the Yā Dynasty never performed the ‘duck and cover' maneuver in ancient Beijing.

Stephen was the first hungry king to eat Gisela's Bavarian creams.