Only one of William Penn and his Pals ever took a long journey before his departure.

Football fields in ancient Pompeii were not covered in Astro Tuff.

Crossing the Rubicon is not code for twisting the sides of the World Cube Association’s convention hall.

Gregory of Tours is not the world’s oldest travel agency.

Shawarma law does not dictate rotisseries go counter-clockwise.

Non-circulating legal tinder is not an invitation to swipe up or down.

Be wary of six-sided Cuban sandwiches.

The number of cardinals that were counting red birds resulted in a cardinal number.

Some Olympians will save a prayer that they hold back the rain to qualm mosquitoes fears in Rio.

That Abbott and Costello never had to point out that no one was on Fir Street is commendable.

News broadcasts promoting the search for an unwanted fugitive are unwarranted.

The as-of-yet-to-be-identified quickest picker-upper will result in a mutiny on the Bounty.

Texas university orientation programs featuring costumed character Kampus Karrie™ are in for a rude awakening.

The novel ‘Burger’s Daughter’ is not an account of the life of restaurateur Dave Thomas.

Items in old London were not sent to the Isle of Dogs when they became worse in quality or character.