The ancient Roman road Via Getty was often marked by water.

Maxwell Street polishing differs from Maxwell Street buffering.

Roy G. Biv was never stoned in Vinicunca.

Maurice Williams never performed Tierkreis with the Wends.

An attack by the puppet people helped with the nocturnal watergate complex.

Yes, coats bend in Etowah County, Alabama, but so do pants and they didn't make that big a deal out of it. #ThemCounties

Many heard black #foxxes spend over eight minutes in the badlands. #DoubleLetterFun

Theophrastus's rock hounds were not related to agates by the nearest agnate.

The first advocatus diaboli was not prone to collecting liturgical airs in a sack.

Kellogg's does not promote two scoops of bran stock.

Alabama movie theatres are allowed to dispose of unpopped popcorn kernels by either interment or cremation, though remains may not be placed in a landfill.

Orthorexia is not about diets for the birds.

A statue showing C.P. Atmore's first steps in the town bearing his name does not stand in Escambia County, Alabama. #ThemCounties

The 1915 book, The Scarecrow of Oz, does not classify the title character as a #strawweight. #DoubleLetterFun

Our Toast and Reruns man has heard the rumor that robotovats are really only hardly working.

Duso was not a dolphin hauriant in France.

Woofer speakers are not referred to as abased speakers.

Sphygmology does not study the effects of pulse dialing.

Children during French recess did not play with screwdrivers.

"I Sing the Body Eclectic!" is not an official song in the Elmore County, Alabama, song book. #ThemCounties

'Tis bad mannered to make a #bivvy from bivalvia in Bavaria. #DoubleLetterFun

Those with grimacing shakes a year later may be the result of withdrawal.

Modus ponens requires one to mind their Ps and Qs.

Even vexillologists cannot control their wives who love to put the flags out.

Translocation of soul amylum does not mean to take it to the root - one, two, three, or four times.

Ari Aracari was not the mascot for Kellogg's Gruit Loops cereal.

Royal touch typing did not cure tendinosis.

Broecks seldom go up to eleven in in DeKalb County, Alabama. #ThemCounties

Nurture abhors a #vacuum. #DoubleLetterFun

Now more than ever "now more than ever" is lazy writing.

Few perineums act as a proscenium.

E.B. White did not feature Charlotte in a cobweb plot.

Chicago Opera Theater did not rebrand it's production of Desprez and Cellier's "The Carp" as "The Copi" for aesthetic reasons.

Polycarp's paraph was not a many-sided ichthys.

The bridges of Dallas County, Alabama, are not known as Marian junctions. #ThemCounties

Norway spent to centuries #tittivating Old Tjikko. #DoubleLetterFun

Unlike Neapolitan, Triplice Copia ice cream is flavored vanilla, banana, and strawberry.

The Wends never cried Mary.

Survey Monkey did not begin life as Primate Polling.

Yes, some people of the Ponant levanted. Yes, some people of the Levant were poncey. But what are you going to do?

The only thing stopping a bad guy with a vacuum cleaner is a good guy with a vacuum cleaner.

Dale's Dales pony is not found in Dale's Dale County, Alabama. #ThemCounties

The pests in the pasture affect the vassal with the passel. #DoubleLetterFun

Our Toast and Reruns Man confirmed there were grounds for divorce between Mr. Coffee and his wife.

Some gun enthusiasts appreciate callipygian buttstocks.

Beatriz Flamini did not ride the Underground for 500 days.

It is not okay to blow your own cutaneous horn.

Ambergris is to whales as Polkagris is not to Swedish fish.

Jerome Horwitz was not known to calamistrate his hair.

Thank the blue stars you can celebrate Stars War Day!

Star Wars Day was never sponsored by Cerveza Cristal.

Even when the letters of the alphabet are out or order, they still work.

Marie-Thérèse was not May Queen for twenty minutes in August.

The Iranian equinox is celebrated with Nowruz. The Uranian equinox is next celebrated until 2092.

Kubo Akira and Maeda Bibari will not appear in the film, Son of the Met Gala Cockroach.

Social insects are likely found in the social town in Crenshaw County, Alabama. #ThemCounties

Critics of Canada's Rhinoceros Party do not refer to its manifesto as #rhinorrhea. #DoubleLetterFun

The Bard of Avon never needed a criniere or chanfron for horseplay.

Few urologists believe membrane androgen receptors pump up any volume.

The Mice never won album nigrum of the year.

The city of the big shoulders is not associated with the city of the big knees.

Cockroaches do not create their own neighborhoods of make-believe.

Vandals have been spotted in Covington County, Alabama, but goths not so much in Andalusia. #ThemCounties

#Zaqqum was not the banished sixth tree in paradise. #DoubleLetterFun

One assumes Emma Bunton and Ann Turner Cook never collaborated.

It is thought some architects wish all buildings had a cant opener.

Rinderpest was not a former twin city of Budapest.

Churches in the Kingdom of Sardinia were not said to be "packed in like ichthys".

Henry and Richard Bloch never considered the mortuary business to cover both ends of the 'death and taxes' idiom.

Beware of alms-drinking and alms-driving.

There are not 70 arc minutes on a compact disc

A nipcheese did not hoard Cheese Nips.

On this day in 1954, nothing happened.

The man from U.N.C.L.E. never visited Pismire Island.

Robert Willan did not create dermatologists from scratch.

The chupacumbra is not the goat-shaped shadow seen during eclipse.

One may believe Mr. Coffee passed the great filter; Mrs. Tea, not as such.

Unfiltered camels do not carry unfiltered water in their humps.

Jarabe Topo Chico is not known as the Mexican mole dance.

Our Toast and Reruns man believes no commercials exist of the Hamburglar using hamburger helper.

A grasp is not the collective name for a group of Muppets.

Lucky Charms never featured marbit in the shape of the Trix rabbit's foot.

A decadence is not a ruling body of ten people who are slow to comprehend something.

John Chapman is not an ancestor of the Apple Jacks kids (the apples never fell far from the jack).

Mel Brooks bested Walter Raleigh by actually completing History of the World, Part II.

No one claimed the sixth little piggy had scrofula.

Girl Scouts calendars did not feature pictures of cookies.

Shrewd cardinals know better than to elect a large number of antipopes.

The Germanic Angles did not inspire the Crooked House of Lavenham, England.

One likely will not find pins, knuckles, and leaves on a stone hinge.

Female Moomins were not Wimmins.

Paul Simon's "I Am A Rock" is not an ode to visual agnosia.

Khaki University is not a fraternity-only higher educational institution.

Kafka, Franz, and Ollie were not puppet playwrights.

Pardon my French, but Jane Martin's "Talking With..." was not given the French title Les Chaterestre following translation.

Few editors had a bird's eye view of The Alphabet of Sriracha.

Few refer to improper fraction as fat fractions in modern math classes.

None of the ZIP codes in Coosa County, Alabama, are Carmichael numbers. #ThemCounties

Bill Justice was not drawn to #Chippendalism. #DoubleLetterFun

At least the Romans knew what to do about it.

There were no mass paths on the stations of the cross.

Few weather idioms take into account a tequila sunset.

Adam and Eve were not naked in the Big Apple.

John Scarne never carded the an old woman living in the shoe.

It's not a stretch to believe the Republic of #Booza lasted only a few years. #DoubleLetterFun

The mark of Cain is not a form of livestock branding on Conecuh County, Alabama, sausages. #ThemCounties

3D Indiana is not a life-size printed version of the U.S. state.

Callipygian architects did not specialize in abutments.

AOL backwards is "Laugh Out Aloud".

One likely should not cook with cannula oil.

John R. Brinkley was not born and did not die during the Year of the Goat on the Chinese calendar (he died one year early).

"Tootemastubbe and Itawamba" was not the Colbert County, Alabama, version of "Tristan and Iseult". #ThemCounties

#Avicenna did not include noncanonical humorous members in his Canon of Medicine. #DoubleLetterFun

The Suffolk Bang is not an alternative theory about the expansion of Ipswich.

Chaise longue lizards never leapt from - or fainted onto - a couch.

A reminder for protest organizers: we do not march forth this Sunday.

It is best to not flog a dead horse midstream.

Charles Burt helped bankroll the American Engraving Society.

Performances of Toccata and Feague in A minor are mostly illegal.

Pipe dreams seldom involve pipe cleaners, dang it.

Sunday carvery leftovers are not usually in relief.

Lyle’s Golden Syrup drew the line at 141 years.

One can find Java in Coffee County, Alabama - but not a ton of roe. #ThemCounties

Gamma rhythms are twice as slow as the #digamma rhythms. #DoubleLetterFun

Tractor Supply Company does not sell tractoration supplies.

Ancient Romans did not cite the year AD 40 as the "largest outside".

Water is laughingly referred to by some as an aerobie digester.

Should Jack fall down and break its crown in Clayton, England, residents would likely mill around Jill.

The Hangamanian Interglacial was not a form of cold-press executioning.

The Love Boat never set sail on the Love Canal.

Sholes and Glidden were not a key part of the Great Vowel Shift.

Carl Griffith's sourdough starter may have been served on 1847 Rogers Brothers silverware.

In most fairy tales, #abbevillian archetypes used stone axes. #DoubleLetterFun

Fast Green FCF is not the least used football club.

Beau Brummell was not known to be a batie-bummil.

Even fifty-year-old dead finks still don't talk.

Our Toast and Reruns man says one way to remember ocean locations is to recall Georgia-Pacific don't touch.

Vincennes was the capital of the I*****a Territory from 1800 until 1813.

Salmon is to nuts as salmonella is not to nutella.

One described as being "stone loach crazy" does not smell like a dry-fish bone.

The ancient Roman bard Volute was not the first pillar in the community to suffer a capital offense.

Double-entry #bookkeeping has nothing to do with consecutive double letters. #DoubleLetterFun

Alas, some medieval figures even said chirality was dead.

Historically, the corner of Chrystie and Grand Streets in New York City was not home to a doohickey.

In space, no one can hear your Wilhelm.

She was living in a Cenozoic world and she was a Cenozoic girl.

Jean-Baptiste de Châteaubrun was never quoted as saying he was wrapped up in his work.

Legends of Venus's ingrown toenails morphing into onyx get off on the wrong foot.

Conrad Reed did not wear a Carolina gold belt.

No Burns supper serves an address to the deviled egg.

No one ever claimed to assault Shakers in a salt cellar.

#JJ coupling has little to do with brassiere measurement. #DoubleLetterFun

It's thought during Halloween in Cleburne County, Alabama, more people Trickem than Treatem. #ThemCounties

Dandriff does not stand on the shoulders of giants.

The seven noses of Soho did not belong to dwarves.

Diaminomaleonitrile just wishes it could be your lover.

Dustin Hoffman was not the original choice to receive his Tootsie role.

In geometry, the dischord of a circle is not a straight line segment whose endpoints lie somewhere with the boundaries of the circumference.

Ringed doughnut bakers in London did not shout "wimble done" to inform customers of their completed wares.

It did not take 3 years, 5 months and 2 days to name Tennessine after it was initially discovered.

George Thornton was not allowed to blow holes in Cardiff.

Scotch bonnets are not swept with Scots brooms.

Armchair critics of the Mango cult were not referred to as amchur critics.

The legend Marathon, Greece, is a place full of finials is likely ludicrous.

Friedrich Ludwig Jahn was not known to pommel a dead horse.

James Henry Greathead was not the first to recommend tubes not be tied.

Most midwestern farmers do not believe you can water magnetic fields for better crop yields.

The economy of Kilchberg, Switzerland, prefers to not go 40 days without Lindt.

No post-duodecim day of Christmas featured anyone a-loffeing.

Our Toast and Reruns man says most people who steal clocks will face time.

To date, no one has seen the tooth fairy yielding a leiomano.

Lineville contributes to some of the line segments across Clay County, Alabama. #ThemCounties

Doughnut makers seldom roll tori through #torii. #DoubleLetterFun

The Great White Way did not celebrate boxing in Times Square, which wasn't a boxing ring, either.