A Russian Dressing is great for Russian Wounds regardless of how mysteriously they appear.

Better Christine Lahti than Suzanne Neve.

The most derogatory daguerreotypist knew how to be a pain in the glass.

The goddess Demeter was not the patroness of the Miss Spelt Contest of Tyrol.

Eric Carmen’s one-time tour of Madagascar did not run afoul of any hungry aye-ayes.

Cilantro may rid your body of heavy metal but it has nothing on the sign of the horns.

Manneken Pis are not squared - unless you’re a whiz at math.

If Leak Week were at the first of March it would correspond with Saint David’s Day in Wales.

In Bali, harvesters of a complete leak - from leaf sheaths to root base - are not referred to as ’rangda rooters’.

The viscosity of vichyssoise is vital to verify vaporization.

No law enforcement agency ever released an all-points bulletin on fugitive emissions due to leaks.

‘Leaky Tyre’ was not the nickname given to William of Tyre because of his lost account of the Third Council of the Lateran.

Peep this to the president and the plumbers that today begins National Fix a Leak Week.

No one in the R&B duo Calloway ever revealed whether he wanted to be mensch.

No one has been rushing to tap dance atop the Wire Building in downtown Washington, D.C.