No one is green with envy from the inch grown from a pinch on Saint Patrick's Day.

Pontius Pilate did not declare 'ecce a spice' when in a piquant mood.

Cerebration, Florida, does not feature a two-story tall version of Auguste Rodin's 'The Thinker'.

Forest crumping usually occurs in winter.

Never confuse a legitimate Lapis lazuli for lapis legit.

'Tabernacle' does not derive from tabor + nacelle, or engine drumming.

Heraldic achievers frown on too much bedizen of the blazon.

It may take a village but it never takes the Village People.

The planet Mercury contains no mercury, but iron - and renaming the planet Irony is out of the question.

One may be fit as a fiddle but still pandurate.

Few find tutti frutti served in a Solo cup as ironic.

Never eat da 'ting tofu' from the Cook Islands.

The proportion of terrible infants that become enfant terrible is not documented.

3M does not market their Scotch tape as 'heartsome'.

The rise of Bruno the Great was not attributed to his brother Otto' 'Collogue of Cologne'.