No one has ever taken off the ritz and bothered to tell anyone about it.

Most movers and shakers know what snozzberries taste like.

Continental drift does not cause distance decay.

The locus classicus is not an endangered species.

Citizens of Panaji have decried the Basilica of Bom Jesus as being part of Pokemon Goa.

Not everyone in Columbia jumped to rename Columbium to Niobium.

The Sun once discovered life on the Moon on this day.

Esmet-Akhom has not been tagged as an ancestor of modern German-Montanans.

The Battle of the Standard was not fought between John D. Rockefeller and William Grove Skelly.

Squid pro quo is not the act of stealing from the cabinet of doctor’s calamari.

Obelism is an obscure but not obsolete obligation.

Bigmouth’s initial strike was not celebrated in song.

It’s easy to ensure that the Old Book of Tang does not document the history of instant breakfasts in the Renaissance.

No one has attempted to make an American cheese grater, again.

Rolling Stone, Minnesota, no longer rolls out each new year with a moss celebration.

It’s fiction, man, to believe a group of owls is called a conspiracy.

Dolly Madison never consummated snack cakes in a zinger zwinger.

Only one of William Penn and his Pals ever took a long journey before his departure.

Football fields in ancient Pompeii were not covered in Astro Tuff.

Crossing the Rubicon is not code for twisting the sides of the World Cube Association’s convention hall.

Gregory of Tours is not the world’s oldest travel agency.

Shawarma law does not dictate rotisseries go counter-clockwise.

Non-circulating legal tinder is not an invitation to swipe up or down.

Be wary of six-sided Cuban sandwiches.

The number of cardinals that were counting red birds resulted in a cardinal number.

Some Olympians will save a prayer that they hold back the rain to qualm mosquitoes fears in Rio.

That Abbott and Costello never had to point out that no one was on Fir Street is commendable.

News broadcasts promoting the search for an unwanted fugitive are unwarranted.

The as-of-yet-to-be-identified quickest picker-upper will result in a mutiny on the Bounty.

Texas university orientation programs featuring costumed character Kampus Karrie™ are in for a rude awakening.

The novel ‘Burger’s Daughter’ is not an account of the life of restaurateur Dave Thomas.