Earth would be great if it wasn't for the people.

The Craig tube in Alaska's Prince of Wales-Hyder Census Area is not underground, nor helps those being Hyderized. #ThemCounties

The worst part of contact sports is Folgers in your cup.

King Edward VII did not run the 1908 Olympic men's marathon.

Adjuvant syndrome is not a phenomenon where someone demonstrates exceptional altruism in one domain.

Nakir may carry a mallet but does not play the kettle drum.

Edwin Booth was not an early investor in Players International.

It's doubtful the U.S. Army was in hot water for abandoning Minnesota's Coldwater Spring during the 1920s.

It takes four days to celebrate May 17 in Alaska's Petersburg Borough. #ThemCounties

Carolina shag is not a form of loose tobacco.

Some costs are incurred when collecting free polyominoes.

You'll be fit to be tied to know shoes don't often boast macroglossia.

There is a minor barrier in finding an elf on the Ross ice shelf.

Mass marketing is not a liturgical service.

Jim Corbett was not the author of the "Book of Common Prey".

The 250th anniversary of the United States Army is as good a time as any to remind you the rank of chief petty officer is more a naval rank.

LediCola is not a soft drink manufactured in Alaska's Northwest Arctic Borough. #ThemCounties

Chirocracy is not the governing body of a men's collegiate fraternity.

Dogoda was not a goddess of western Wends.

The Ballard pull was not a conventional measure of the pulling (or towing) Catherine Balotta.

The Powers-That-B are seldom the Powers-That-C.

Kushim is not an element on the Uruk periodic tablet.

The balance of evidence suggests that there is a discernible human influence on global stupidity.

Sports teams playing in Alaska's North Slope Borough seldom ever beat those working in Deadhorse. #ThemCounties

Seven days of paraskeviéxiaphobia makes one weak.

There were few pre-code films about Samuel Morse.

Big Apple pothole maps did not lead to treasure - for some.

Johann Forster did not cut a rug as a result of the spotted shag.

Bates numbering was not used to document 12 vacant cabins.

Our Toast and Reruns man noted it was the Egyptians who didn't add yeast to the honor roll.