John Chapman is not an ancestor of the Apple Jacks kids (the apples never fell far from the jack).

Mel Brooks bested Walter Raleigh by actually completing History of the World, Part II.

No one claimed the sixth little piggy had scrofula.

Girl Scouts calendars did not feature pictures of cookies.

Shrewd cardinals know better than to elect a large number of antipopes.

The Germanic Angles did not inspire the Crooked House of Lavenham, England.

One likely will not find pins, knuckles, and leaves on a stone hinge.

Female Moomins were not Wimmins.

Paul Simon's "I Am A Rock" is not an ode to visual agnosia.

Khaki University is not a fraternity-only higher educational institution.

Kafka, Franz, and Ollie were not puppet playwrights.

Pardon my French, but Jane Martin's "Talking With..." was not given the French title Les Chaterestre following translation.

Few editors had a bird's eye view of The Alphabet of Sriracha.

Few refer to improper fraction as fat fractions in modern math classes.

None of the ZIP codes in Coosa County, Alabama, are Carmichael numbers. #ThemCounties

Bill Justice was not drawn to #Chippendalism. #DoubleLetterFun

At least the Romans knew what to do about it.

There were no mass paths on the stations of the cross.

Few weather idioms take into account a tequila sunset.

Adam and Eve were not naked in the Big Apple.

John Scarne never carded the an old woman living in the shoe.

It's not a stretch to believe the Republic of #Booza lasted only a few years. #DoubleLetterFun

The mark of Cain is not a form of livestock branding on Conecuh County, Alabama, sausages. #ThemCounties

3D Indiana is not a life-size printed version of the U.S. state.

Callipygian architects did not specialize in abutments.

AOL backwards is "Laugh Out Aloud".

One likely should not cook with cannula oil.

John R. Brinkley was not born and did not die during the Year of the Goat on the Chinese calendar (he died one year early).

"Tootemastubbe and Itawamba" was not the Colbert County, Alabama, version of "Tristan and Iseult". #ThemCounties

#Avicenna did not include noncanonical humorous members in his Canon of Medicine. #DoubleLetterFun

The Suffolk Bang is not an alternative theory about the expansion of Ipswich.