Dole Whip was not served on Tichborne, Hampshire, pub crawls.

It doesn't take a Roads kill scholar to win roadkill bingo.

Physical education courses seldom feature a section on the guitar workout.

Strontium was not known in Londinium.

One may question why mister tally man wasn't counting Brazilian wandering spider sightings when the daylight came.

When you see the Southern blot for the first time you understand now why you came this way. #DNADay

Two Schick tests of a lamb tail don't diagnose ovine diphtheria.

Disney does not plan to introduce new character, Hello Possum, to its Florida theme park.

Few were duped to use drupes as currancy.

O.J. Simpson never asked consumers to remember the Alamo rent-a-car booth.

Ancient Romain semis were all half ass.

Hazen Pingree and William Maybury sat across from each other for years without shaking hands.

Gestas was not the impotent thief.

Clabber Girl never fought Clapperboy in somebody's cinematic universe.

Nay, horses did not move hippogonally around the Hippodrome.

Rob Zombie has not yet recreated Munster Rugby.

Research by our Toast and Reruns man says gallop polls never favored senator Incitatus.

One pice does not yield two pisces.

The National Health Service never provided services for the Manchester Baby.

Al Jaffee did not fold-in one thousand origami cranes.

The red umbrella of the Travellers does not provide shelta from the elements.

No, ancient Greek medicine did not find black bile humorous.

Fred Astaire was not known to cleek cheeks when dancing.

Every Jack may not want his Jilly Juice.

A greenhead likely does not have a green thumb.

Ralston Purina never verified the recipe for Bleu Chex cereal.

Our Toast and Reruns man say some believe the Swiss Guard use Scotchgard.

Thirty silver-colored Reese's Pieces were never used as a contest to win an oversized Hershey's Kiss.

America offers lost souls a host of wayward prophets to follow.

Number Nine's revolution was being against wearing whistling breeches.