May Irvin did not kiss Rice Krispies on film in 1896.

Manneken pis has not been dressed up to show it smoking cannabris.

Mercedes Ruehl never performed in a rented King Lear.

#Toyotathon does not overlap with #Audipalooza in 2022.

Tutankhamun really walked like an Egyptian.

Tutankhamun did not originate memes with nemes.

The original "Ocean's 11" was not subtitled "The Riddle of the Sands".

"It's all turkey" is not a bowling term.

Dendrologists talk less about their fur babies than their fir babies.

Rebecca Felton had more bragging rights than David Rice Atchison.

Practicing alectromantia is never enforced at the end of a caulk gun.

Terry Farrell has never been asked about dacks while touring Australia.

Beware of priests wanting to "use their affusion" with November rain.

One of the ten blagues of Egypt was not one's ability to bench press the sphinx.

Shaving peach fuzz does not always yield peach scab.

One may be hard-pressed to find Dracaena trifasciata growing on Connecticut's Mother-in-Law Island.

Some members of the American Watermelon Council self-described as "pro-life" when confronted about Gallagher stage shows.

Some believe bookkeepers suffer from homogeneous graphomania.

Today is not National Dig-and-Delve Day.

Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm tree.

Some sasaengs seek on segways.

Politicians have not yet claimed schools are making accommodations for students who identify as the Number 5.

Leg theory is not an economic indicator having to deal with the insurance of May Hart's legs.

Our Toast and Reruns man says Richard Nixon did not wear new kicks for his presser sixty years ago.

Most people are not going to the ballots armed with a ton of infomation about the assholes they’re voting for.

No one hieroglyph left Howard Carter perpetually alifft.

Carter never offered a tête-à-tête with Tutankhamun.

Lay courier seeta die oh gee probabble minty an no poke ohs enzo. Ol rait, ol rait, ol rait!

˙uʍop-ǝpᴉsdn sᴉ ǝslǝ ƃuᴉɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ puɐ ʇɥƃᴉɹ sᴉ ƃuᴉʇuᴉɐd s,uɐᴉɹpuoW ǝqʎɐɯ ɟᴉ pǝuᴉɯɹǝʇǝp sɐɥ ǝuo oN

Don't be such a turkey: no one is celebrating the abolition of ottomans and sultanas.